Titanic Watchmen
by Araiona Dubois
Summary: The story of the two watchmen in the movie. It's about what they were doing before they spotted the iceberg. It's meant to be a joke.


**Titanic watchmen **

**Author notes: I don't own Titanic and nor would I want to. This just popped into my mind while I was chatting with a friend of mine bowling last Saturday. Enjoy!**

The two watchmen on the Titanic are at their post watching out for you know, icebergs stuff like that.

_Bill is looking through a scope at the ocean._

Bob: Do you see anything?

_A frustrated Bill puts the scope down._

Bill: Bob… it's an ocean all there is, is water. All there ever will be is water and when you ask me in five minuets what I see I will reply water.

Bob: Well what colour is the water?

Bill: _Sarcastically _it's pink! What the heck do you think it is? Use your brain Bob.

Bob: Sorry but it's boring up here.

Bill: No kidding.

Bob: So what do you want to do?

Bill: _Thinking _I don't know. Let's play poker.

Bob: Alright.

_Two hours later. _

Bill: Well that was boring.

Bob: No kidding.

Bill: I'm hungry.

Bob: You're always hungry. What food do we have left in the cooler?

Bill: _Checks cooler _we have three egg sandwiches, a pizza, a case of beer and a bunch of soda.

Bob: toss me a soda will you?

_Bill tosses Bob a soda and Bill grabs a beer._

Bill: This job is boring.

Bob: Yeah, there's nothing out here.

Bill: But it's important, like the captain said. We're the 'eyes of the ship'.

Bob: He just told you that so you'd stay out of his hair.

Bill: No! The captain wouldn't do that!

Bob: _Rolls eyes. _Yes he would.

Bill: No he wouldn't!

Bob: Yes he would!

Bill: No he wouldn't!

Bob: Yes he would!

Bill: No he wouldn't!

Bob: Yes he would!

_Three hours later. _

Bill: No he wouldn't!

Bob: No he wouldn't!

Bill: Yes he would!

Bob: Ha! Got you!

Bill: Damn.

Bob: I'm bored.

Bill: Me to.

_Bob uses scope thingy to check out the people on the ship._

Bob: Hey look at that brown haired chick.

_Bill looks._

Bill: Hey she's a hottie. Though she's not my dream girl.

Bob: What's your dream girl then?

Bill: Five foot four, blond hair, green eyes, olive skin…

Bob: I see.

Bill: What about you?

Bob: Five foot six, black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.

Bill: Nice.

Bob: Ugh I'm bored.

Bill: I'm hungry.

_Bob rolls his eyes._

Bob: You're always hungry.

Bill: Didn't we have this conversation earlier?

Bob: Yes, yes we did.

Bill: I see.

Bob: I'm hungry now to.

Bill: See! It's not just me.

Bob: Shut up.

Bill: So what do you want to do now?

Bob: Play poker?

Bill: Let's tell jokes!

Bob: Fine whatever.

Bill: Or we could have book discussions.

Bob: Oh wow you've never read a book in your life. How could we have book discussions?

Bill: I did to read a book!

Bob: What? The ABC book?

Bill: No! I read this book about a Phantom.

Bob: Was it a comic book?

Bill: No! It took place in this opera house in Paris.

Bob: Lovely.

Bill: No it was really good. This Phantom guy kidnapped this opera singing chick.

Bob: That sounds retarded.

Bill: It was really awesome. You should read it.

Bob: I don't want to read it.

Bill: It's good though!

Bob: Listen, let's not fight. We have to be up here the whole time and I don't want tension.

Bill: You're right.

Bob: Good.

Bill: You should read it though.

Bob: Don't start!

Bill: Fine. What's your favourite book?

Bob: _Julius Caesar _By Shakespeare

Bill: Do you have it with you?

Bob: Of course, I carry it with me where ever I go.

Bill: Well I have the book I read with me to. You want to trade books and read?

Bob: Fine.

_They trade books and begin to read._

_Five hours later. _

Bob: _Teary eyed. _Poor Phantom.

Bill: _Teary eyed. _Poor Caesar.

Bob: This book is good.

Bill: Same with this one.

_Two days later._

Bob: Well that was really good and it made the time go by.

Bill: Yup. So now what?

_Bob shrugs._

Bill: I'm hungry.

Bob: SHUT UP!

Bill: Ok, ok.

Bob: I'm bored.

Bill: Me to.

Bob: I wonder what's going on, on the ship.

Bill: I don't know. Nobody tells us anything anymore.

Bob: Nobody tells us anything ever!

Bill: This is true.

Bob: Hey you want to play I spy?

Bill: Sure. You go first.

Bob: Ok, I spy with my little eye something big and white.

Bill: Is it our ship?

Bob: Nope!

Bill: Hmm… is it the crow's nest we're in?

Bob: Nope!

Bill: Is it that woman down there in the white dress?

Bob: Good one, but nope!

Bill: Drat. Is it my hat?

Bob: Your hat isn't big!

Bill: Well sorry. Is it the fluffy clouds?

Bob: There are no clouds in the sky plus its dark out!

Bill: Well sorry. Hmm… I give up. What is it?

Bob: It's that big chuck of ice in the water.

Bill: Oh right. That's a good one Bob!

Bob: Thanks!

Bill: Ok my turn. I spy with my little eye something re- wait... is that an iceberg?


End file.
